Finished for the Day

Making room for the life you want when there’s always more to do

Fall is quickly turning to winter. It typically is already rainy by now.

It was a nice day, so I hopped on the bus and went to the beach to write and get some work done.

Take in the day.

Secured a table right by the window, looking at the sparkling, endless blue.

Planes were drawing contrails in the sky.

I worked all afternoon looking up between flows and noticed that the sky was set for a beautiful sunset.

Back to work. I looked up and there it was.

I immediately left my things and walked to the beach. I climbed over the rocks and took a seat, watching the orange and red descend from the blue towards the edge. A ladybug crawled towards me and onto my finger. I watched the sun dip out of sight and slip into the ocean.

I never thought about what I had left until I returned to the table.

Before, I only remember people mentioning the sunsets I never saw.

What Do You Want For Your Life?

Have you ever spent time thinking about this question? Strictly your own thoughts.

Not what your family wanted for you, but what you really wanted. Life has a way of getting in the way of this question, but it’s an important one to ask.

Here are a couple definitions of what I think longevity means:

Lifespan: how long you live.

Healthspan: the years you live in good health.

Living well: knowing what you value and taking part in it.

I wrote about this in Who Wants to Live Longer If They Can’t Live Well?

Are you building the life you want more time to experience?

A sudden change in your health, or a loved one’s, can change everything.

But living well can remain possible through illness. My autoimmune diagnosis could have derailed me and my career.

I used it to pave a path for me to be much happier.

What Deserves to Stay

A dumpling press, shoes and all the clothes that I bought because they looked great in the dressing room.

The time I spent at work would enable me to have things I could own but not use.

This wasn’t the goal but it became the reality. I would look at them and think, “Not today,” but somehow secretly admire them like they were a favorite. I actually don’t know why I held on to things. Maybe to just justify why I bought them. This didn’t happen every day or week. But it did take attention and time each time I did think about them.

Before we moved to Portugal, I sold or donated everything. I even parted with a shirt I hadn’t worn.

I cut ties with everything but three suitcases and a backpack. It felt amazing.

Letting go meant so much less to carry and look after.

Emotionally, there is a lightness that is difficult to explain unless you have done this exercise.

Choosing what deserves room to stay in your life is an important question.

It goes way past things. It’s people, jobs, relationships, and habits.

Health Helps You Participate Now

Health is an investment in the future you. Delayed gratification.

This concept is often a difficult thing to get over when you first decide to choose your health. The one thing that I’ve noticed is that it does help you participate now.

Here are two examples that I know will pay off in the future but are already paying dividends:

Meditation

Last month, I completed a year of daily meditation. I sit with my thoughts and take 10 minutes to start my day.

On days I travel or have a commitment pop up, I do it later or before I go to bed. I am able to notice when I am slipping into the past or the future and not staying present.

At first it was difficult to just get through the practice, but now I’m having some real breakthroughs. The most recent was this week, standing in line waiting to order. The person in front of me ordered their food and then gave their life story. I started to drift and then became aware that I was creating a narrative of something I couldn’t control.

I started to realize how lucky I was to be out and able to enjoy delicious food.

The brain is like a muscle. I can feel the progress in my mind and emotions.

Strength Training

This began as an investment in my future strength and hedging against muscle deterioration.

What I noticed is that I have more energy, better focus, better sleep, and much improved cardio and balance. I designed the workout for overall strength, not aesthetics. Even though it wasn’t the goal, my clothes fit better and I am looking stronger too.

Sometimes, habits pay twice.

I’ve started to look at the present-day returns when they exist rather than demanding them of every habit.

Nothing Is Ever Complete

Nothing is ever complete. It is finished for the day.

Some deadlines are exact.

You have a meeting with the boss or a presentation to a company president.

Most of the time you can pause before you are finished.

Not every email needs an answer. You don’t need to live at inbox zero.

The sunset shows that enjoyment doesn’t always have to wait until you’ve earned it.

Boundaries aren’t a sign you are doing less. I started to schedule yoga and leave work earlier than usual and everything was fine. I’d also challenge you to look at your meetings and be honest about which ones you need to keep. Sometimes this means you need to look in the mirror. It could be your meeting that everyone thinks is a waste of time.

I used to outwork almost everyone and think I was overperforming. I was just miscalculating my own worth.

Protect your commitments (Here’s how to do it). When something important comes along, move them. Don’t skip them.

I still feel tempted to tweak finished projects, including my writing. Progress is to leave it alone despite the urge.

I used to ask myself how much more I could get done.

Now I’m learning to ask what doing more will cost me.

Another hour of work might improve something, but that hour has to come from somewhere.

Sometimes it comes from the very life I’m working to build.

Control over time varies. I’d invite you to examine the choices available to you. I was the last person to say I had time or could set a boundary. I used to watch everyone else leave work to go home while I stayed to get more done and be more productive.

Only when I started setting boundaries did I see the time was there my whole life.

A Balance You Keep Adjusting

I am still in the process of learning where high standards help and where further optimizations costs too much.

Living well is when you add what enriches your life and reconsider what takes space without giving enough back.

When I returned, the laptop and the work I had started were still there. I could see people in the restaurant, diligent and at work.

Not long ago, I would have been one of them.

Am I creating the life I want to live?

Live well,
Nathan

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^{Educational only, not medical advice. Consult your physician before changing your health, diet, or exercise routine.}

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